through the dark

amongst the mist

a hunter emerges from shadow and steps into a clearing

all nearby creatures pause, sensing the danger--not a breath expelled or insect step can be heard

this hunter, it is not here to consume, tearing flesh from bone, or crushing exoskeletons

no, it is here...

to educate you about SEO

News and Updates

Hey! Another week, another newsletter. That's why you're here!

Before we move on to the newsletter that your favorite SEO influencer once called

"

"

JK your favorite SEO influencer would rather get stung by a cereal box full of murder hornets than share the existence of this newsletter to their audience... they'd never recover from such a thing.

Hey, make sure to click here and check out the dopest memes on the planet that I curate for you every week.

This helps my stupid email newsletter software recognize you as a "friend" so it can give you THE ANTIDOTE so I don't have to send you an email that says "hey do you even read this thing? Please click this link to stay subscribed."

Also, please enable images to see this bonus meme that I just found. It's 10/10.

Featured Snippets

📰 Here's a guide on how to own the SERPs for single-day events (super bowl, GRAMMYs, etc) -- something I haven't really seen written about before...

💡 An interesting theory on how someone got their ENTIRE SITE hijacked (which I wrote about in a previous newsletters' Featured Snippet).

Before we get into things, please check out a message from this company that I LOVE (because they sponsored this amazing newsletter)

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Sites For Sale

Wow, sold A LOT of aged domains with the last newsletter.

Guess what: there are hundreds and hundreds still for sale. And I've got a deal for you: because I usually don't have things for sale, I never get to participate in those absolutely stupid "holiday promotions" even though I want to, so I can make fun of the core idea of a contrived discount disguised as a money grab.

Well, one of the DUMBEST holidays has just passed, so I am going to glom onto it like a parasite and burrow deep into its flesh.

​So if you buy any of the domains I have for sale, use the coupon code RODENT to help celebrate Groundhog Day and get a 20% DISCOUNT ON ANY PACKAGE OF DOMAINS YOU BUY.

Suck on THAT, Toyatathon and President's Day mattress sales...

But wait there's more!

Here are two more things that I'm currently brokering:

1 - A Collection of Quote-related Sites (making SOME money) - $22k

FamousQuotes.com domain and site: DR 30, 608 RD, ranking for 750+ keywords. Currently doing about $25 per month in ad revenue.

BrilliantQuotes.com domain and app (it makes about $100 per month with 80 app subscribers, owner paid $15k for the app a few years ago)

QuoteDB.org: DR 30, 765 RD: ranking for 5k keywords (2.5k traffic)

QuotesDriven.com and QuotePost.com

bquot.es which also includes bq4android.com and mlse.uk which are backend domains for the apps.

Interested? Hit reply and LMK.

2 - A Mortgage-Related Lead-gen Site - $15.5k

MortgageProtectionReviews.com -- this one is interesting. It's got some juice:

It was started during Covid and has recently started taking off. Seller says it gets about 30 insurance leads per month plus does about $20-$30 bucks in ads.

Seller says: According to my friend (a broker) and his team, they are average to above average leads compared to their other leads they buy (typically an agent pays about $20-$30 per lead).

So, there is some potential to pour some gas on this thing--especially if you have infrastructure and contacts related to insurance/mortgage whatever things that I don't understand but maybe you do.

Again, if you're interested in exploring this further, hit reply and holler at me!

Google Tries To Explain Why A Site Got Hit By HCU, Slips On Floor and Shits Its Pants Instead

My god, ya'll. Look at this tweet:

Google SearchLiaison @searchliaison @iambrandonsalt @BrockbankJames Took a look. Will share a few things that maybe might be generally helpful. At first glance, it wasn't clear to me that there was much original content here. It looks and feels at first glance like a typical "here's a bunch of product pages." I really had to go into it further… https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1751960497484628015 Brandon Saltalamacchia @iambrandonsalt @BrockbankJames Hey James, here’s the article: https://retrododo.com/steam-deck-alternatives/ - Time frame shown is like 3mo. 8:28 AM • Jan 29, 2024 15 Retweets 137 Likes Read 22 replies

​

That's the source. It's a long tweet!

Luckily Barry "the content machine" Schwartz bullet-pointed it out, which I will now steal (but here is the link I'm stealing from so Hbomberguy doesn't make a four-hour long Youtube video about what a huge piece of shit I am):

On the one hand: these are solid points on why a page may not be beloved by Google's HCU.

On the other this feels like yelling at one dog for gnawing on one of your slippers while patting the head of and praising the second dog for doing the exact same thing.

I do appreciate Search Liaison's efforts, but it feels inauthentic when you look at how the SERPs in other (especially lucrative) niches are going.

So I guess, let's talk about that!

This Is The Worst Thing I've Ever Seen In The SERPs (And I've seen

This is a $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ keyword:

Best CBD Gummies.

Ranking first through third here has to be four-figure-per-day affiliate revenue AT LEAST.

According to Ahrefs: 17k searches/mo, 89 KD.

Damn!

But look at this.

Hold Danny's HCU statement in your brain and look at these SERPs.

It's a big picture, but I'll zoom in afterward:

Here are those last two URLs:

And at the risk of absolutely TANKING my deliverability, here are the full URLs of those two front-page results:

Those were hard to get, BTW, because when you click on them it redirects immediately.

It USED to take you to a page with Dr. Phil name dropping a bunch of other TV doctors:

At this URL:

Which, eventually you'll see (after some truly TERRIBLE fake all-star testimonials, like this one from GARTH BROOKS lolol)

That it's promoting one particular brand's CBD gummies via affiliate link.

Anyway, I'm not here to lay down judgement on this as a tactic. Go out and make your money.

I guess my main point is: sure, take a look at what Google has to say about why or why not a site is ranking, and then go search for your favorite KW and see how disconnected from reality that is.

You can look in the SERPs to see what is *actually* working, and build a strategy based on that...

[quick note: for whatever reasons--probably some step in the redirect chain that the person no longer has access to--most steps in the above CBD parasite play are broken, from the initial redirect away from the .edu site, which used to go to afnethealth, to the affiliate links that you could click from afnethealth to wherever you could buy BioHeal: all dead].

Google Found Another Thing We Love To Kill

Not as beloved as Google Reader, not as valuable as your site that used to get 100,000 visits/mo before the HCU--but beloved all the same.

Google has killed the cache link in the SERPs. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, it's this:

You used'ta could click that link and view the cached version of a page, which holds (held?) a solid place in many an SEOs workflow.

You can still use the "cache" operator (cache:ranktheory.com, for instance), but Google confirmed that's ALSO going away very soon.

Thanks for all the memories, cache link.

Another senseless murder by Google in broad fricken daylight.

smh...

Work With Me

Got a site that needs help getting its shit together? Good news. I can help.

This is not the hard sell, this is the "I think my diet caffeine free coke is finally cold enough to drink so I'm gonna wrap this newsletter up and head downstairs but oh yeah, I like paying my bills each month guess I'll mention that I can do SEO for money" sell.

Just hit reply and let's chat.

~

here we are

at the end of another totally normal SEO newsletter

i hope you learned something or had a thunderbolt good idea about something or at least were a little bit entertained.

do me a favor, and hit "REPLY" and say hello if you liked this edition of the Rank Theory newsletter.

they said you'd never reach out if you loved Rank Theory.

prove them wrong!

who?

the haters.

Until next time:

sean
sean@ranktheory.com